The Pink Square of Comfort

Normally, I blog in my favorite color- red. It's my husband's favorite color, too. (Which is why we have a RED tin roof.) We are Georgia fans, so there is LOTS of RED around here.

But today, in honor of our baby girl's lost lovey, I am blogging in pink.

My sweet baby girl was never too partial to a pacifier. She took it in the hospital the three days we were in there. Let me clarify, she took it begrudgingly. When we got home, however, she got downright furious when we tried to give her one. We tried several brands. No luck.

Momma was the paci. And, at first,to tell the truth, it was exhausting, but I tried to savor every moment. They're only this little and have this need for only so long. Besides, my husband and I told each other, we wouldn't have a paci habit to break!

After her birth, our Sunday school class brought us meals. (Such a blessing! You don't know what a blessing until you've been on the receiving end!) One of our friends has four little ones. During her visit, we were discussing the paci situation. Her youngest two didn't take pacis either; like me, she was the paci. She did suggest a 'lovey' and that we start introducing it right away.

That was one of the best pieces of advise we've ever gotten. We'd received several loveys, so our baby had an abudance to choose from. For several months she showed no preference. She loved them equally.

Except the BLUE one. One morning, all the loveys needed a washing. I threw in her big brother's old lovey in the wash for good measure. As I was folding the laundry, I tossed the loveys on the floor. Our son and I laughed as we watched her crawl from one pink lovey to another. She would crawl to one, 'nurse' against it for a minute, drop it and crawl to the next. She did that with all of them except the BLUE one. She totally ignored it!

Then, one day, she picked her favorite. A pink one, no doubt, with a hot pink flower and her name embroidered on it. Oh, how she loved that thing! We carried it everywhere with us. Whenever she got upset, she would snuggle it up to her face and settle down. When given the choice, she always picked that one.

To tell the truth, we had both gotten dependent on that thing. I would get frantic if I couldn't find it. We'd left it at church once, our friend had been keeping nursery so she made sure to take it with her to give to us later that evening when we'd see her. Our daughter absolutely would not go to bed that night until Daddy brought home the left lovey.

It was then I knew we could never lose the lovey.

This week we lost the lovey.

Somewhere between Kohl's, Publix, and Aldi we lost the pink square of comfort.

I was so upset I posted it on Facebook. An awesome friend saw that post and went to those places to check before I could even get back to town. She went without telling me; I ran into her on my trek back to town once my husband got home so I wouldn't have to drag the kids back out.

The lovey was lost. Gone forever (unless a miracle happens).

I did the ugly cry all the way home. I imagined sleepless nights and naptimes bygone without the lovey. Nothing weighs so heavy as a mother's guilt over things that are beyond her control. So, my prayers went from, "LORD, please let this lovey be there!" to "LORD, forgive me for putting so much trust into a pink piece of fabric."

Truth be told, the pink square of comfort had no special quality or skill or power. It was just soft and pink.

Turns out, I took it harder than she did. Naptime had came and went with no great wailing and gnashing of teeth over the missing favorite lovey, except maybe by Momma. She took one of the 'spares' just fine. At bedtime, she did again.

Lesson learned. I put my trust in something that is fleeting; instead of where it belonged. When I changed my prayer from, "LORD, please let me find the lovey" to "LORD, forgive me for putting so much trust into a pink piece of fabric. Please, let her be able to sleep without it and release me from this guilt." He answered my prayer.

Accidents happen. Kids lose stuff. Momma gets a little side-tracked sometimes. It's ok.

What's not ok is putting my trust anywhere but God. He alone provides all the comfort I need and He cares enough to take care of the little things. Remember those extra loveys? We have plenty on hand. He took care of the need before there even was one.