The Plan

Well, it's happened. Something we never really anticipated.

We have outgrown our home, our beloved "Under the Red Tin Roof."

A few weeks ago when we were in Sunday school, during prayer requests and announcements, I asked for prayer for selling our house.

When asked why we were selling, which was the nicest way and tone we'd been asked, our answer was simple. We need more room, specifically a school room.

It wasn't a thought when we built the house. It wasn't part of the plan. To my, "This was our dream house. We never wanted to move." Our comedic friend quipped, "And you wouldn't have, if it hadn't been for those meddling kids!" Ha!

This wasn't the plan. We planned for me to be a stay-at-home-mom since we began courting. We knew that was the plan. Then, when the very last baby entered kindergarten, I would be returning to work teaching. That was the plan.

Then, something happened that change the course of our lives. The test said, "Pregnant."

Something inside me triggered that said, "Five years isn't enough!" Actually, that is an understatement. Every fiber of my being seemed to scream, "Five years isn't enough!"

And, over the last almost six years, my husband has come to the same conclusion.

So, here we are, in a home that we had planned to be in until we went to our heavenly reward, but we clearly see that God is calling us to move.

We simply need more room. More room to grow. More room to learn. More room to spread out books, papers, projects. More room to create. More room to make a mess.

Somewhere we can work in, learn, and close the door on when the day is through and not have to pack up everyday.

We're in no rush. No deadline to meet. Just a calling to follow. A test of faith. Leaving what is familiar and  comfortable for the new and unknown.

And I don't like the new and unknown until it becomes familiar and comfortable. At which point, God calls us to the new and unknown. Again.

So, here we go. Letting go so that we can grow.

Gratitude Attitude

Well, it's mid-October. I haven't posted in three months. Although, if we're friends on Facebook and if you're on there on a regular basis, you know what's been going on UTRTR.

Still, a lot of times that is superficial fluff. Funny things the kids say or do. What dazzling feat they have mastered. Which, by the way, we have had several accounts lately- a big first birthday followed a week later by first steps, followed a week later by LOTS of steps! First grade. First goose egg. First family vacation.

Okay, I digress. It's October. I'm getting a jumpstart on my New Year's Resolutions. And I never keep them, so I'll call them my "Turning Over New Leaves" since we're in the thick of glorious fall. So, I'm going to aim to do two things- the first to blog more and the second I've already been practicing and making into a habit, with the good LORD's help.

Lately this song from my childhood keeps replaying over and over in my mind. I don't remember all the words, but it goes something like this, "Catch the gratitude attitude! Gratitude attitude, catch it everyday! Oh, give thanks to God each day for all the things He brings your way, catch the gratitude attitude everyday!"

Lots of words are missing, I know. The tune rolls round in my mind several times a day. I suppose it comes with having kids. Things I learned in childhood are forgotten, then something with my children triggers those misplaced memories and while some pieces are sketchy, others are crystal clear.

Trying to instill in my children not just manners (although, that's a post for another day!) but a genuine appreciation for their blessings weighs on my mind.

Right now they're young. Still, I desire to teach them by example to have a grateful heart for all our blessings. I caught myself probably a month or so ago, grumbling to myself about making the bed I had slept in! Silly, I know. We've taught our son how to make his own bed. (Might I add, most days it's impossible to tell who made it him or me- he makes his bed that neatly!) This day I was pulling up the covers wishing my husband had had a couple of minutes to spare so he could have done this task.

Really. What did it take out of my day? Two minutes.

It was at that moment that I remembered the "Gratitude Attitude" song.

Coincidence? Most certainly not, I am certain that it was the Holy Spirit's gentle prodding. "LORD, forgive me for my ungratefulness," I prayed. And, while I finished the task, that there was a list of several things that I was able to thank God for.

- We have a bed to sleep in and sheets and a quilt to keep us comfortable as we sleep.
- My husband usually does this task for me if he has a few minutes before work.
- That we're healthy and are able to get up.
- The blessing of work- that my husband has a good job and that God has entrusted this home and all who live here for me to minister to.

Very humbling when I think of all the blessings! This has created in me a new appreciation for counting my blessings and has totally turned my thought processes upside down!

So, I've been trying this out in all areas of my life.

When I'd like a few minutes of 'me time,' I think instead, "Thank You, God, for entrusting these little ones to me. Thank You for the time I get to spend with them. Help me to be the momma they need. Thank You that they are healthy and noisy and thriving. Thank You that You have called me to pour myself into them so they can become who You've called them to be because of and despite me. Thank You for this time; before I know it, the house will be silent and I'll have all the 'me time' in the world. Help me to be grateful for each moment."

When I've got a sink full of dishes (again)- "Thank You, LORD, that we have food to eat, that my family has a good appetite, that we have the means to cook and clean up."

When the laundry has piled up, "Thank You, God, that we have been so busy having fun that I haven't had time to wash all these clothes You've blessed us with. And thank You that my washer and dryer run smoothly!"

When there are errands to be ran and groceries to be bought- "Thank You, LORD, for a safe car to run our errands in, for money to buy groceries with, and that You always provide for us. Thank You that my kids get to go with me and learn that these things don't just magically happen. Thank You that they get to interact with the clerks at the post office, the cashier at the grocery store, and the librarians. Thank You that these people know my children by name and that my children get to see them working hard and with dignity and learn to treat them kindly."

When school needs to be done, "Thank You, LORD, for this calling in life. This is not where we thought we'd be, but there is no where we'd rather be! Thank You for this time with our children and for this time for my children to be best friends. Thank You that my husband leads, supports, and encourages us every step of the way. Give me the grace I need to teach dropping the silent e before adding -ing and -ed. Again.Thank You that we get to see all the firsts."

-When the house needs to be cleaned, "I love our home, LORD. Thank You for providing a comfortable home for us to enjoy. Thank You for bathrooms to clean, so much of the world doesn't have this. Thank You for my vaccuum and how easy it makes my life. Thank You for the ability to keep it a safe place for my family to enjoy."

Now, I shared all that, not because I'm some holier than thou Christian. I'm not. There are many times I slip up and complain. Hey, I'm not perfect. I'm forgiven!

And, especially lately when we've been studying about the Israelites complaining about manna and quail or when we've read about the disciples moaning and groaning, I see my own self there. It's mirror image. God always provided everything they needed and so often, they complained and wanted more. I read and I think, 'Tsk, tsk, tsk! They shouldn't have done that!' Only, how many times have I been guilty of the same thing?

So, instead of looking for new ways to complain when things don't go my way, I look for new ways to praise.

We're running late? God may have been providing divine protection to keep us from a bad accident.

Things didn't go as planned? No, they went better, or, it was a learning experience.

The house hasn't sold yet? (Okay, it's only been two weeks.) Well, He's just preparing the right people for our beloved RTR. Or He's getting our new home ready. Or both.

Yep, I'm coming down with the gratitude attitude, and this is certainly something I pray that my children catch, too.

The Power of a Yes or a No

There's a local writer, whose work I have admired for years and whose column appears on Tuesdays in our hometown paper. She's published several books and regales us with stories of her life and what it means to be a Southerner. I look forward to her column every week and have for years. I've quoted her in conversations, and only within the last year or so learned that she's only one degree of separation away.

I said all that to say this....sometimes I finish her column with a laugh, at others with a roll of the eyes and a shake of the head- unsure if she's exaggerated a touch or because I know what she's written to be all too true. There are others that linger and make me think.

Last week's did just that.

The column had to do with how the power of a 'yes' or a 'no' could change the course of one's destiny.

The columnist recounted a story from her youth. A much-planned for school trip to the Georgia coast and a chance to meet a writer whom she admired. Then her grandmother passed away the day before she was supposed to leave for the trip. We Southerners never miss a funeral, so she presumed that she would not be going. Her parents, knowing how important this trip was to their daughter and her future, insisted she go. That 'yes' changed the course of her destiny.

Long after I laid the column aside, that story still lingered. That is the kind of parent I want to be. A parent who sees what my child is passionate about and who encourages my children to follow their passion. Even if it means breaking the 'rules.'

But even more than that I contemplated my own destiny. I wondered if someone had changed the course of my life with a simple yes or a no. I pondered this on and off for a few days.

Then it came to me.

As a freshman in college, looking for work I put in applications in virtually the only two places in our small town. I'd been interviewed at both; uncertain at which I should choose, I told my momma that I would go with whoever hired me first- small grocery store or big name shoppers' club.

I got the nod from the small town grocery store, followed by the big name shoppers' club a few hours later.

Still, I stuck with my resolve. I'd go with the first one who said 'yes.'

Fourteen years have since passed and I look back and see that, indeed, the course of my destiny was shaped with a 'yes.'

So much more than a job to make my car note came from that yes. Nine years of marriage and two kids later, I'm thankful to Hope, the woman who hired me; because it was there I met a hardworking young man who would ask me to share his life.

A destiny changed in a 'yes' or a 'no.'


PS- I do not doubt for one second that God orchestrated every detail to bring us where we are today. I find it amazing and awe-some that He allows us to be part of His plans. And with or without us, His plans will come to pass. We can shape our own destiny in a 'yes' or a 'no' to His call.

First Year Down.....

Wow! I can't believe that it's been a month and a half since I last blogged. Then again, it's not really surprising. There has been a whirlwind of activity here- VBS, a certain baby crawling all over the place, then pulling up, now cruising, several trips to the pool, and, of course, finishing up our first official year of homeschooling. All of this in addition to everyday life.

This may seem a little unusual to some, but for our family it works. We are going to pretty much school year round. That doesn't mean no breaks. That just means shorter, more frequent breaks. When Daddy's off work, no school! When we're busy swimming and playing in the summer, no school that day. Which, in turn means that in the cold winter months, we may be having school on Saturday mornings so that we have more flexibility when the weather is better. It works for us and still allows for plenty of play time.

I digress. The intention of this post was not to inform of our school days schedule, but rather to celebrate our official year being on the books. (Pun totally intended!)

Our five year old finished kindergarten Saturday, June 26! As we approached the finish line, I reminded him, 'When we finish with this, we're going to take a break.' And take a break we have! Swimming, loafing, playing, watching movies....of course, there has been a lot of book reading going on, too. So, while the book work is on the back burner, learning is still happening.

(Sidebar- We had a little graduation celebration! A big accomplishment in such a young life! Complete with diploma, cap and gown.)

There have been lots of teachable moments to me this year. My husband and I have seen clearer and clearer the hand of God at work in our lives individually and collectively as a family. We've seen God provide in ways that we hadn't imagined were possible and in ways we didn't even know we needed. He is always, always, always ahead of us and right here with us all at the same time.

I've learned my child doesn't have to do every single cursive worksheet in the book. (Hey, the kids in 'real' school don't finish every last one, either, so I am not going to lose sleep if my kids don't do a few practice sheets in there. Provided, of course, that they know the material!)

I've also learned how to let things go. Having a pristine home isn't nearly as important as toys scattered on the floor, art projects littering the table, and the breakfast dishes still in the sink. It means we have a healthy baby who has a natural curiosity and enjoys play. It means an older child is developing his creativity, and it means we have food to eat!

Basically, my priorities are getting more, well, prioritized.

Best of all, I'm learning by putting God first, spending time with Him each morning and asking for His provision and guidance throughout the day, that He will not put more on me than I can bear. He also will give me wisdom.

I'm pleased to report that we didn't survive the first year. We THRIVED! All by the grace of God. Nothing we have done could have gotten us through this uncertainty.

Sure, there were bad days and obstacles that seemed (and still seem, at times, insurmountable). But there has been more than enough grace to cover our days.

And the really awesome thing?

There's even more grace to get us through whatever challenges await.

And even more awesome than that?

There's more than enough grace to get everyone through whatever challenges await!

And, now that we have reached the end of our first official year, we are more certain than ever that the choice we've made is the right one. It's what we've been called to do. We wouldn't have joy anywhere else.

Grace. That word sums up what we live under, what we claim, what we know to be true.

Maybe we should give our little homeschool a name now that we are 'official'.

I'm thinking Grace Christian Academy sounds about right.

Goodbye, Cubbies! Hello, Sparks!

I am, as designed by my Creator, a sentimental person. Scraps of this and that, letters and cards, deflated mylar balloons, along with pictures in albums with space for writing our adventures- all of these things tell our life story. Over the years I have learned to pare it down so that we don't have a mountain of scraps, but we treasure those things that are most precious and important.

Now to our collection I can add my son's Awana Cubbies vest. It is complete. After two years of going to Awana faithfully every Sunday night from August until late May (with the exception of 3 evenings when sickness or icy conditions kept us from our fun), our son has said every verse and earned every patch. He has hopped and jumped his way through Cubbies.

The shirt which was a little big to begin with will soon be outgrown. His bag which held his book, crafts, and dues will find a new home along with his vest. Oh, the vest which looked like it would take forever to fill with patches is now full with room for no more and has more than one stain that this momma cannot get out. Two years passed in a blink.

Funny, I didn't shed a tear nor come close to it last night. He's growing into such a fine boy; I don't feel the sadness of the time gone by. I feel joy. He's becoming who God has called him to be. He's reached another milestone. He's no longer a Cubbie, but a Spark. He was so excited at this 'graduation', how could I be anything but joyful at his accomplishment?

This is his first of many graduations, good LORD's willing, in his future. I don't see it as an end. I see this as a beginning. He's beginning his adventures of being an elementary schooler. He is continuing the adventure of who he will become.

There are times I think back to his infancy and toddlerhood and miss those days. In some ways, I miss those days; in many ways, he's still who he was then. He still loves to snuggle in my lap under a blanket and read. He still loves to work along side his daddy.

When I get too sentimental, I remind myself, "This is the best stage ever!" It helps me to remember and rejoice in the new skills that he's mastered. It keeps me in check not to hurry through this stage (as trying as it can be, another and more trying one is sure to be around the corner).

Reminding myself, "This is the best stage ever!"  helps me savor the moment.

Now, I cannot promise that I will shed no tears on the other milestones, for I am certain that I will cry. My children will have many milestones that will bring such joy that tears fill my eyes. And that's why I'll cry- not because my babies are no longer babies but because they are becoming all that God has called them to be one milestone at a time.

"Now, Don't Y'all Rush Off....."

"Now, don't y'all rush off....You don't have to be in such a hurry...."

I don't know how many times my Papa said that during the thirty years that I had with him. Whether I'd stayed for days with Nana and him, which was my custom when I was a teenager or whether I'd stayed an afternoon, he'd always say those parting words.

He's in heaven now. He's been there for one year, four months, seven days and twelve hours. I wish I could hear him say them again. I know that one day I'll see him again and I won't have anywhere to go or anything to do but sit with him in the company of our LORD.

Sometimes it feels like so much longer than sixteen months since he went Home. And it seems as if he were in a rush to get there. Of course, I know the good LORD has everyone's time appointed. Still, it felt like the years with him went by too quickly.

I can honestly say that in all those years I never rushed my time with him. Listening to his stories, enjoying him playing his guitar and singing, or simply sitting in the silence next to him and just being- I loved being in his presence.

Papa is not my first grandparent who has gone on to his reward. It's just that he was the closest one that has gone on. As the years pass by, I realize my time with my other grands on this earth is slipping by, and when I say, 'grands' I am including my husband's grands, too. We've been married so long, it's easy to forget which one is 'his' and which one is 'mine.'

I really should go see them all more, should take the children to love on them and be loved by them. How precious it is to have the connection to one's grandparents, but to also be blessed enough to know one's great-grandparents, now that is truly a gift.

For some stupid reason I've worried about bringing the little ones in on the great-grands' quiet. We're loud. We're messy. We're hungry. ('We' meaning my kids.) I don't want to impose our boisterousness on them. For some reason a cloud of dust, diapers, and toys seems to follow us wherever we go. And no matter what my kids have eaten they're always ready to eat again when we go see any of the grands, especially the great-ones.

Maybe my kids know something I don't. Maybe they realize that the silence needs to be filled with their young, happy voices. Hushed tones, be gone! The great-grands appreciate the music of their little voices!

Make shift toys littering the floor- clunky purses, slippers, old hats- delight the great-grands. Perhaps it's a reminder of when they were young. Or maybe when their kids were young. Or maybe when their grandkids were young. And they get to relive those happy times, no matter how briefly again.

And, empty (or suspiciously empty) bellies are heartily welcomed and filled by great-grands. There always is something especially delicious (even if we have the same thing at home) to be enjoyed on the lap of a great-grand. Maybe that's the difference- not what they're eating but where they're eating it.

No longer will I feel guilty that we've broken the silence; that's what they want. No longer will I feel guilty that we're messy; they never mind. No longer will I feel guilty that they've made something for us to eat; they enjoy filling tummies.

No, we will go. We will be loud. We will make messes (within reason and pick up after ourselves). We will eat. Because one day they will have gone to their rewards and we will miss those times. We will linger a little longer. We will not rush at all.

If Not Us, Then Who?

The other day I received a message from a relative expressing concern over teaching our children about God and encouraging them to have a relationship with Jesus. "Wasn't I worried," the message asked, "that they would rebel against what we were teaching them?"

 I stopped and pondered that question.

Yes, I do wonder sometimes if our children will rebel against what we're teaching them and then I stop and ask my Heavenly Father, who loves them more than I ever could, to put a hedge of protection around them. I ask Him for them to find Him early in life and to love and serve Him all the days of their lives. My husband and I fervently desire for our children not to just identify themselves as a Christian. Many people claim that and don't live it out. Our goal is for them to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and to identify themselves as a Christ- follower.

I do not worry because God promises that His Word will not return void. Meaning, that if we share His Word that He will take care of the rest. I also take comfort with the promise that if we train up our child in the way he should go, when he is old he will not depart from it. I claim these promises over all my children.

The very best we can do is to train our kids, to teach them- through example- that what we say we believe aligns with how we actually live our lives.  We also pray with all our might that they will desire a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. A real, true, authentic, genuine relationship with Him.

We cannot NOT teach our children to have a relationship with Him. God is very clear in His Word-
   "And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates."  ~Deuteronomy 6:5-9

God cannot make it any clearer. As their parents, it is our God-given responsibility to teach them to love Him with all their hearts, souls, and might. He has given us a direct command. There are no 'maybe's' or 'shoulds' or 'you might considers'. We are to teach them every moment of the day.

That doesn't mean life is one big, long lecture of what our kids should and shouldn't do. Rather, it is a conscious effort to teach them about God every moment that we can- to look for the teachable moments.

Sometimes, it's as my son and I snuggle before his sister wakes up and Daddy's left in the morning that we pray for Daddy's safety as he goes to work. Other times, it's seeing something really cool in nature and talking about what an awesome Creator God is. Sometimes, it's a lesson in forgiveness, grace, redemption.

In our journey as a homeschooling family, we are looking for ways in which to draw even closer to God. What we're doing is contrary to most of society. And there are times this choice can be lonely. What we're doing is viewed as 'weird' or 'extreme' by many. And we want our children to identify themselves in Jesus, not the world says we are. What we are doing is a huge leap of faith. And we want our kids to learn to live by faith, not by sight.

So, we invite God into our homeschool every day. We ask Him to bless our time and our efforts. And, privately, I've been asking God to reveal more ways to teach my kids about Him.

How could I incorporate more time spent reading from His Word? The answer was quite simple- reading the Bible as we had breakfast. We've been reading a Proverb according to the day, maybe a Psalm depending on how long our son eats. We definitely read a Bible lesson (I don't like the word 'story', which implies it's made up. The Bible is absolute Truth.) before reading, 'riting, and 'rithmetic begin. And for quite some time now we read the Bible before bed. (We often use a children's Bible with lots of pictures.)

This has been a really neat experience for us. First, our time is stretched so much. We are finding that we get much more done when we get our priorities straight. The tone in our home is different. We are not focused on ourselves. Our conversations are deep. (Proverbs 10:1, for example- "The proverbs of Solomon. A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother." This lead to a five minute discussion on words such as wise, foolish, heaviness- with our five year old. I could almost see the wheels turning in his mind as he chewed on these words and their meaning as he was literally chewing his poptart.)

Exposing our children to the Bible only during church time would lead to disasterous results; they'd have a narrow view of what God is like if we only talk about Him Sunday morning. And if they only 'visited' with Him on Sundays, what would their relationship with Him be like as they become adults? Polite. Restrained. Distant. Not at all what we want for them.

We want them to have a passionate relationship with their Creator.

So, do I worry that our children will one day rebel?

No. I don't. Their future is in God's hands, not mine.

He has never let me down before, and I "[b]eing confident of this very thing, that He which hath begun a good work in you, will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:" (Philippians 1:6).  I claim this over our children.

His Word promises, and He always keeps His promises.